Gratitude: Thanksgiving in Ogden Valley

I know that Thanksgiving was a while ago, and that all of our minds are focused in on Christmas (which is a very good thing!), but I think it would be a good thing for us all to be grateful all year, as well as to remember Christ all year.  Thus I am going to write about my experiences over the Thanksgiving break.

Our family is a bit spread out over the western U.S., some of us in Colorado, some in Southern California, Idaho or Utah, so as of last year we created the tradition of renting a cabin in Eden, a little mountain town in Northern Utah, and bringing all of the family there.  The family is relatively small, but we had a group of up to 20 people there at a time, just relaxing and spending time together for a few days.

It was incredible!  We had so much fun playing endless games, sledding and having snowball fights, watching old home videos--it was a great way to honor the memory of my grandparents.  James Dean Clayton and Madelyn Stringfellow Clayton were my heroes--examples of quiet, simple, hardworking, selfless people.  All of us there were direct relatives of them, so I made the design for shirts for us all to wear to remember them.  Here's the back side of it (I used to attempt to draw cartoons), depicting the grandparents and the rest of us who were physically there:

(Bonus points if you can find me!)

During one of the last days, we decided to go on a hike.  It had snowed a few days before, but there was generally not snow in the valley at this point, except in small patches.  We were going to the Wheeler Creek trail, a gently sloping trail through a deep north-facing canyon.  When we showed up at the trailhead, however, the whole trail was completely coated in ice!  This made for an interesting trip, as the more bold tried to see how far they could slide in one push, and most of us took small teetering steps up the canyon.  We made slow progress, but it was a beautiful hike, surrounded by towering cliffs of limestone and quartzite and immense slopes blanketed in firs, a small stream trickling by below.


At the top we took a picture of the whole group.  I had to set the camera on a rock and position it just right so we could get the picture, and then brave my way across the icy trail to get in the picture, but the first shot taken was perfect!  I thought just how lucky that was that we got that first picture to work, that everyone looked good and no one had their eyes closed or their pinkies bleeding.  With so many pictures that could be taken with something wrong, I counted it as a small miracle just to have that picture:


Humans seem to have an incredible ability to take things for granted.  It is so easy to forget the little things and to think about where they come from.  We are also quite good at forgetting about the big things, such as the fact alone that my family was able to be together during Thanksgiving, that we are all healthy and happy and that none of us turned out to be murderers, druggies or lawyers!  There are so many people who don't have that blessing (if you are one of those people, have faith and hope and look at the blessings you do have).

As will often happen with me, the rest of the family had their fill of hiking after a while, but I hadn't, so they turned back and I kept going.  I walked into Icebox Canyon, a deep narrow canyon very hidden from the sun and aptly named--it was very icy there and there were some slopes on the trail that were very hard to climb.  It was an intensely beautiful and peaceful canyon, though, the stream covered in snow but still flowing, so that you saw a flat white expanse of snow but heard a stream babbling.  As I walked I thought of just how lucky I am to have Jenn.  I remembered when I was a teenager and went on camping trips with the Scouts, at night sometimes I would wander a ways away from the group, look up at the stars and just imagine what it would be like to have someone always there with me.  To have a friend, a companion, someone who for some bizarre unknowable reason loved me and would always love me.  And now I do!  There is no greater blessing I have experienced in life than being married to Jenn.

To those who are older than teenagers and who are not married yet, let me just say that it is very well worth looking into.  To have a deep selfless commitment to each other, to worry more about her than me, to know that she is always caring for and thinking about me--there is nothing sweeter.  Don't be afraid of commitment--yes, with marriage comes plenty of difficulties and responsibilities, but the bond and care for each other and intense joy it brings is so worth it.  To those who want to find an eternal companion but have not been able to yet, your time will come.  God will not deny you from any blessing you worthily seek to obtain, even if the blessing does not come for a very long time, even into the next life.

The slippery slope.

We all have so much to be grateful for.  We don't have to forget about gratitude and move on to Christmas--we can infuse Christmas with the spirit of gratitude.  Shouldn't we be thankful that the Savior of the World chose to come down and be born in the most humble of circumstances, be spit on and ridiculed and endure unthinkable torment so that we can repent and live again?  May we be thankful for Christ, for our families, for the beautiful world wherever we live, for our health, and for a million other things as well.  Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all!
 

"Thy Will, Not Mine, Be Done"

Three weeks and two days ago I embarked upon one of the most ambitious adventures of my life.  I live in the college town of Provo, Utah, and Jenn's family lives in Riverton, Utah, about 30 miles north by car.  It is about 33 miles away by car, which follows nearly a direct route.  There are many potential bike routes there, but if you enter directions into a map app, none should ever tell you to go one of the technically shortest ways, which would be up and over Point of the Mountain.  You see, Utah Valley is bordered on the east by the enormous Wasatch Range of mountains, on the west by Utah Lake (and more mountains), and on the north, as the gateway to Salt Lake County, by a group of east-west trending small mountains or large hills called the Traverse Range.  The little pass the freeway takes before dropping down into Salt Lake County is called Point of the Mountain.  Below it to the west is a narrow canyon through which the Jordan River runs from Utah Lake to the Great Salt Lake, and above it are the large hills or small mountains of the Traverse Range often referred to as Point of the Mountain.

Driving route from Provo to Riverton (North is up).
Wasatch Front seen on the right, and Point of the
Mountain is in the top central part of the photo.

I had ridden my bike before from Provo to Riverton, but I had taken the "easy" way along the Jordan River.  Now I had the crazy idea to bike up and over Point of the Mountain to get there.

Do not misunderstand me.  I am most definitely not a mountain biker.  There have been many small communities build in the Traverse Range recently, and so there is a paved highway winding up to the top and back down again.  However, it is a 2,000 foot elevation gain in not very much distance, which was much more than I had ever attempted before.  All this after riding 20 miles just to get to the base.  So I decided to try it, and if I couldn't make it over the top then I would come down and get to Riverton the low way.

Off I went on Friday at about 11:00, and I could not have wished for a more beautiful ride.  It was a clear, sunny day, the road wove largely along a canal road with the mountains towering to the right and views of the lake to the left.  I rode 20 miles and was already feeling fairly exhausted.  Then I saw the mountain in front of me and started the long trudge up them.

It was every bit as hard as I thought it would be, but nothing like I expected.  A wrenching burn with every turn of the wheel, and I was in such a low gear that progress was barely faster than walking.  I was looking at each bush several feet ahead, pushing myself just to reach that one goal--and then picking a new goal another several feet ahead.  There were several large, sweeping curves that I passed, eagerly wondering if I was at the top--to realize I still had a ways to go.

The winding road going from bottom right to top left is Traverse Ridge Road.
It gains 2,000' in about 2 miles, then quickly loses it all in the same distance
on the way back down.

At long last I reached the top.  I had made it!  Anyone who has climbed or biked an extremely hard trail knows the unparalleled feeling of satisfaction at the top.  That exhilaration for me was coupled with the breathtaking sunset over the new view of Salt Lake County, the red colors retreating up the mountains as the shadows advanced, and the complete joy of being able to go down a screamingly steep, long slope.  In my experience, there are few things quite as fun as going down a very steep slope on a bike.  I got up to 32.7 mph, much faster than I had ever gone before (true bikers, try to stifle your scoffs), right as the light faded.  Total trip: 34 miles.  I had done it.

This was an example to me of just how much God loves me.  He had given me a wonderful experience, something amazing and practically perfect to me that I could remember all my life.  We don't need to be perfect, or even all that great, for God to bless us.  We just need to be trying our very best to pass the tests that He gives us to make us into better people.

It doesn't ever really matter at what point we are in our journey--or even, for that matter, what our specific path is.  We may be the holiest and closest to God you can be, or we may be just beginning to get to know God--we may be just emerging or attempting to emerge from a terrible addiction, or we may be striving to make little changes to be better each day--God does not love any of us less or more than the others.  We do receive more and more blessings the closer we grow to God, but it does not matter how recently you turned to God or how much more of your journey to Him still remains. What matters is which direction you are going.

The view as I was coming down from Traverse Ridge Road, going north into Draper.

Jesus Christ always and only did what His Father wanted Him to.  He said repeatedly that He was doing the will of Him that sent Him, and not His own.  Why?  He realized His Father knew better than Him, that He knew exactly what Christ should do that would be for His and for the world's benefit.  If the perfect Jesus followed His Father in everything, how much more should we follow out Perfect Father, as well as our Savior!

I cannot make a mountain, or a lung, or a flower, or a giraffe.  Heavenly Father is obviously SO much smarter than I am.  He has perfect intelligence.  Amazingly, too, He has perfect kindness, which is why we can absolutely trust Him.  If we choose to do His will instead of ours He will give us so much more happiness and growth than we could ever get by working on our own.  This will always be true.  Following God's will instead of our own will lead to much greater happiness than we could ever obtain on our own.

Along the Murdock Canal trail before getting to Riverton.

Because of this principle, in the last few weeks I have been trying hard to follow God's will instead of my own.  This means that whatever happens to me and whatever I feel like I should do, I should do it without complaining.  Because of this goal, I have been given lots and lots of tests lately--as if God was saying, "Okay, so that's your goal, let's see if you can be happy and cheerful even if I ask you to do this."  Sometimes, and a lot of times at first, I have failed the test, or not done nearly as well as I could have.  For example, I hate shopping.  I hate it with a passion.  Something about wandering endlessly in the giant stores with fluorescent lights, looking for things I am only buying because I have to, rubs me very wrong.  So sometimes when Jenn takes me shopping I have a bad, grumpy attitude, which is not accepting God's will instead of mine!  If I have to go shopping, God's will is that I enjoy it and have fun spending quality time with my wife.

Lately, though, with plenty of hiccups, I have become slowly better at accepting God's will, of trying to do what He wants with a good attitude, trying to learn whatever I can from the experience, be it lots of homework, helping someone out, or something truly tragic like going shopping.  And I have learned from this that following God's will, even when it does not align with mine, definitely will bring me the most joy.  Cheerfully following God's is so miraculous that it can turn a torture-ridden shopping trip into a fun date night with my wife.

The more we follow God's will, the more we will have challenges, but the more and greater rewards we will have as well.  For example, on Friday I went to climb the Lake Mountains, which is the mountain range just to the west of Utah Lake.  That was another perfect experience--a beautiful walk alone through an amazing land, an incredibly clear sky, and some of the best views I had ever had in Utah, with the whole Wasatch range and more laid out before me.  I feel like that experience might not have happened, or might not have been nearly so good, if I had not been setting my goals and trying to align my will to God's.

View from the top of Lake Mountains (7590') looking east at the Wasatch front including (left to right) Cascade Mountain, Squaw Peak, Y Mountain, Maple Mountain, Buckley Mountain, Twin Ridges and Hobble Creek.

Jesus Christ, in speaking to the prophet Moroni in the Book of Mormon, said, "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weaknesses."  That's a scary thought, isn't it?  If we grow close to God, we will see our failings, and exactly what we need to improve on will be laid before us.  But then the Lord says, "If they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."  God shows us our weaknesses so we can do something about them.  And then He helps us to do it.  I know that our weaknesses will become glorious strengths, and we will be happier, better, higher-quality people if we every day seek to align our wills more closely and completely to God's.

View from Israel Canyon (Lake Mountains Communication Road) looking east at Timpanogos (right) and Box Elder Peak (left)

Experiences with Space and Time in Death Valley National Park

Tarantula crawling on the Racetrack near Death Valley National Park, a playa (dry lake bed).

The title of this post, as you will notice, is "Experiences with Space and Time" and not "Experiences Through Space and Time."  So I'm sorry, but don't expect a trip spanning eons into the future and ripping through the fabric of space-time.  This is much simpler, but it does involve several important insights I gained into the importance of space and of time.

Death Valley

Last weekend I was on a Geology field trip in Death Valley, which is an incredible and extremely unique place.  We drove there from Provo, Utah starting Friday morning, so by sunset we were up at Dante's View, a viewpoint from about 6,000 feet elevation looking down on the valley.

Death Valley is the lowest area in the western hemisphere, -282' at its lowest point in Badwater Basin.  It is so low because the crust of the earth is being strongly pulled apart in that area, leaving a very deep valley in between two mountain ranges: to the east the Black Mountains rise up past 7,000' and on the west the Panamount Range rises past 11,000'.  Those are absurdly tall walls between a narrow little valley only about 10 miles wide.  The valley is so dry because air from the oceans rains all of its moisture out as it climbs the Panamounts, leaving Death Valley with only hot, dry air.

Dante's View in the Black Mountains of California, looking west into Death Valley and towards the Panamount Mountains.  The Black Mountains rise over one mile high in less than three miles, an incredibly steep slope.

My Eyes!

Anyways...we saw a fantastic view at Dante's View, then drove down to our campsite, where at night it dropped all the way down to 70 degrees F (in late October!).  My eyes had been bothering me a little that day, but they were not too bad, so I decided to sleep with my contacts in (which I had done before with no problems).  I know already, you don't have to tell me...BAD IDEA.  I woke up in the middle of the night (still about 70 degrees) with my eyes stinging like crazy, and I hurriedly took out my contacts and went back to bed.  When I woke up in the morning I could not open my eyes.

Still can't see...at the Racetrack near Death Valley.

This had happened to me once before, but not while trying to enjoy time in a bright sunny national park (the last time it was a state park).  I literally had a very very hard time opening my eyes, especially in bright light.  If I could I could only open them for a fraction of a second at a time.  So I stumbled towards my breakfast and ate it, feeling very miserable.  It was a good thing that we were not going to a highly reflective white surface first thing, and that it was overcast!  We headed out to the sand dunes (a highly reflective white surface) with not a cloud in sight.

I tried to have fun as best I could, but it was a hard thing.  I was in a lot of pain and I could see hardly anything.  Every time I tried to open my eyes they stung relentlessly and my nose ran.  I realized just how valuable sight was, and probably just how much I had taken it for granted.  How much do we not appreciate the things that are around us, no matter where we are?  How much do we walk or drive the same path to school or work each day and not even notice what kind of trees we are passing?  My one desire was to see the world around me.  This was my experience with space--I learned to better appreciate and understand the world around me.  I feel like now I appreciate the world around me and the gift of sight a little bit more, no matter where I happen to be.

Ubehebe Crater

My eyes slowly got better, and I immensely enjoyed the rest of the field trip, soaking everything I could in--Ubehebe, 7 or 8 giant volcanic craters, Badwater Basin, the lowest spot in the western hemisphere, the Devil's Golf Course, Mars Hill, the Racetrack--Death Valley is well worth visiting; I highly recommend it.  It is like no place I have ever been.

A "Pointless" Walk Home

My experience with time came the week after the field trip.  That Monday I had a break in classes between 10:00 and 1:00, but I had a whole lot of homework to do, I felt, if I was to have any time to relax that night.  However, Jenn (my wife) was very insistent and persistent in that I come walk home with her and back because she had forgotten something.  The logical part of me screamed that this was impractical and not a good use of time, and that I needed to get my homework done.  But I wanted to make Jenn happy, and I would love a walk with her, so I went.

And I am so glad I did.  It was such a beautiful, pleasant crisp fall day with so many leaves changing color and falling down.  We talked and had a great time.  I've heard it said that when life is over, no one ever regrets not spending enough time at the office.  Instead, they often regret not spending time with family.  What are we doing with our time?  Are we spending the most time on things that matter most?  The things that matter most are usually people, especially our families.  In addition, we all need time to relax and look around at the world around us.  Often we wear our busyness as a badge, priding ourselves in being occupied all the time with "important matters."  Pursuing noble and good interests is very good, but we need not completely occupy our lives with so many things to do that we neglect to spend time alone with God, alone with nature and alone with our families.  In these alone moments we learn more about ourselves, how we can improve and what is really important.

In short, in this last week or so I learned how important it is to stop and appreciate what you have.  Life is not a long checklist for us to pass off--life is for us to enjoy and learn.  Take time to look around you, to realize what you have, and to focus on what matters most.  I know we will be happier people if we get our noses out of our computers and look around, to nature, to our families and to God.

 

How Science and Religion Do Actually Get Along

For decades and even centuries, science and religion have come into great conflict.  Galileo was one of the first to start that war when he supported Copernicus's idea that the earth revolved around the sun, and that the earth was not, in fact, the center of the Universe.  The Catholic Church tried viciously to silence the man and discredit him.  The scriptures, they believed, said the earth was the center of the universe, and they could not tolerate anyone disagreeing with them.  People chose sides and the issue became hugely divisive and contentious.  It seemed there could be no agreement between the two: either you sided with the church or you sided with Galileo.

Me being a missionary.

This may sound very familiar because it has happened so many times in human history, and the battle continues to rage on in full force today.  Newton was scoffed, ridiculed and persecuted, and then later a man published a theory for which his name would be spoken of in praise and hate for centuries to come--Charles Darwin.  Many have picked their side and stood their ground, completely rejecting the other side.  "Evolution is the truth, and religion is bogus!" proclaim some, while others shout, "The earth is only 6,000 years old, no matter what those crackpot scientists say!"  Is there a solution?  Can one be a true believer in God and still accept science?  Can a scientist still be a person of faith?  And what do we do about all the seeming discrepancies--what if you find something in the word of God that seems to go against a scientific principle?  Can science and religion ever be fully reconciled?

Me as a scientist.

The answer is: of course.  I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ as well as a wild science enthusiast.  There have been and are many, many like me, much better disciples and much better scientists.  Here's how you can accept both, and not be sitting on the fence doubting over differences nor obstinately on one side, unable to see the other's perspective.

1.  Realize that the aims of science and religion are different.

Galileo Galilei did not want to pick a fight with the Catholic church.  He knew he was proposing ideas others would disagree with--they were revolutionary and previously unheard-of and challenged people's beliefs on how the world works--but he recognized that science and religion had two different aims.  

"Scripture is a book about how to go to heaven; not a book about how heaven goes."

He proclaimed.  In fact, to confound the two seems a bit foolish if you really think about it.  You would not go to science to find out what your everyday actions should be so you can be prepared to live with God, just as you should not go to the Bible to find the exact process of how the world was created and each step involved.  The Bible is concerned with our actions: what we should do to draw nearer to God.  Science is concerned with how the world works: essentially, how God works.  Both causes bring us closer to God, but in different ways: we grow closer to Him as we become more like Him by following the scriptures, and we grow closer to Him as we understand more and more of how He works through science.

2.  Admit that we do not know everything.

Why was it that the church rejected the idea that the earth revolves around the sun?  It was because of a few verses of scripture which state that the earth stands still.  Why were and are so many people bitterly opposed to the theory of evolution?  Because the Bible states that God created man in His own image.  Why do people disbelieve the idea that the earth is billions of years old?  Because the scripture says the world was created in 6 days.  But take a step back and look at these issues for a moment.  Is it possible that those on "religion's side" are still right, but that they are thinking of the scriptures too literally?  

Me as a scientist.

An important attribute that we all could use a hearty dose more of (definitely including me!) is humility.  It is hard to admit that we could be wrong, that the way we were thinking of things is not necessarily the one correct opinion.  Perhaps the "six days" of creation does not mean "six periods of 24 hours."  Yes, God did create man in His own image, but that does not mean that He did not use a series of other lesser creatures before getting to man.  The word of God will always be completely true, but our limited understanding of it will not always be perfect.  When we see this, and are humble enough to admit that our interpretation of the scriptures may be imperfect, many of these seeming conflicts between science and scripture will vanish.

That being said, science can never say they know the truth with absolute certainty.  The scientific method cannot prove anything correct; it can only disprove things.  For example, if you want to prove that there are no leprechauns in Ireland you would have to simultaneously look in every single place in Ireland, which is impossible.  If anyone ever finds one leprechaun in Ireland, they have disproved the theory.  Science builds upon itself, and often it does this by admitting it was wrong at first.  As we disprove one hypothesis but find more and more evidence for another, we get closer and closer to the real truth.  A theory, like the theory of evolution, is an idea supported by multiple lines of evidence and something that has never been disproved yet.  When I say multiple I mean that thousands of legitimate scientists and their experiments have given evidence for evolution, and not one of them have been able to disprove it.  The same is true for gravity, relativity, deep time and many other scientific theories.  But we still could be wrong.  We don't know for sure the answers to everything, but we just crawl nearer and nearer to the actual truth.

Me beginning my career as a missionary in Mexico City, with my Mission President and his wife, the Villarreals.

In summary, scientists and crusaders, lay down your weapons.  One of the greatest signs of the strength of a person is their ability to admit that they could be wrong.  Evolution, which you have studied your whole life and seen so much evidence of, could very well be right--but it could be wrong.  Your understanding of that verse of scripture, as you have pondered it deeply and know it backwards in Hebrew, could be right, but it could be wrong.  Share your opinions and express your beliefs, but stop fighting!  Our goal in both science and religion is to draw closer to God, so keep studying and keep believing, but don't be so prideful that you get locked in your opinions and cannot see the world any other way!

I know that God lives and loves us.  Both the word of God and the experiments of man help me draw closer to Him, to understand Him and to be more like Him, and I invite all to get to know Him better by accepting both methods to come to know truth.

I love being outside in nature because it helps me feel closer to God both spiritually and scientifically.

This is all self-explanatory, except for the pirate behind me.

How I Met My Wife, Part Two and Final

We left off last week with me being despondent and lost in the throes of a broken heart, going to a blood drive, sitting next to Jenn McLean and asking her if she donated often.

January 18th, 2013 continued

"Yeah, yeah I do." she replied, giving me an odd look.  I then asked her about her major.

"Well, it was Geology..."

"Was?!" I responded, to which she explained that she was now studying Anthropology but still really enjoyed Geology (she eventually saw the light and switched back in a way, but that's a different story).  We started talking for a while and found out we had a ton in common, including a love for the outdoors, experience with choir and interest in science.  We were really hitting it off when Jenn got called to go donate.  Being a fantastic individual, however, she let me go first since I had a class starting at 4:00 and it was already about 3:30.  I went to donate, and she was called a short time later.

Unbeknownst to me, she was already wildly smitten by my charm (okay, not quite, but maybe a little) and was afraid that I would finish donating first and go off to class and she would never see me again.  So she decided to be in a big hurry and was desperate to beat me in donating blood.  When I was already on the chair and had begun to donate, she walked out of the screening booth towards another chair and yelled at me, "Race ya!"

She donated the fastest she had ever donated, way faster than me, but I had a head start so I finished first.  Not knowing of her fear that I would leave, I went to eat my snacks in some chairs by the exit, having no intention of leaving without talking to her again.  She finished, and by then my class was already half over, so I decided to skip it.  That was perhaps one of the best decisions I have ever made.  

We walked all over campus, talking about everything we could.  I even told her about Lisa and how I had been feeling horrible and was determined to get her back.  Amazingly enough, instead of being turned away by this she got really excited about it, and praised me for actually caring enough to try to make things work.  That might have been when my determination to get Lisa back wavered for the first time, because Jenn with two "n's" was amazing, and so much like me in so many ways.

January 19th - March 30th

Of course I got her number, of course I asked her on a date for the next day, and for the next two weeks we spent nearly every day seeing each other at least once.  Whenever we both had a break in classes we went to go see each other, mostly to just go talk in the hall.  This is the first picture we took together, the one I put as my phone background and started showing her to my friends, introducing her as my best friend Jenn (with two "n's").

Foolishly, this whole time I was still at least trying to convince myself that I was still going after Lisa.  I even made her a playlist to try and get her back, but now it seemed, oddly enough, that some of the songs were applying more to Jenn than to Lisa, especially the mushy ones.  And through this all, Jenn stood by me and supported me in trying to win back another girl!  Pretty soon, I gave up on Lisa--Jenn was much cooler anyway.  On February 3rd we started dating.

We fell in love very easily, since we are so similar in many many ways, especially in the most important things--we felt the same way about our loyalty to each other and our commitment to the Gospel and had the same bizarre sense of humor as well as similar interests.   Soon, I was in the Temple asking if I should marry Jenn.  Though I had asked this question before about Lisa and got what I thought was a positive answer, this time the answer hit with unmistakable force.  It was the strongest feeling of joy and hope and YES that I had ever received.  I was so overjoyed that there was  even a possibility that I could marry this incredible woman, the highest quality person I had ever known.

Turned out she had felt strongly, a little at a time that she should marry me too.  We discussed this before I ever officially proposed--in fact, when we decided we should get married we realized we needed to jump on the housing marked because apartments sell out very quickly in Provo, so we bought an apartment before we were ever engaged.  Since our friendship was founded on openness and honesty rather than surprise and secrets, I asked what kind of ring she wanted.  She didn't care, and for some reason I felt really good about it, so...I asked my parents to mail the ring I never thought I would use.

March 31st - August 21st, 2013

Our engagement is a story in itself, but basically I proposed on top of a mountain (Squaw Peak above Provo, Utah) and then we proceeded to go down the mountain the short way, straight down the side.  It was an intense journey, and by the time we came down we had to run to the jeweler's to get the ring resized.  So there we were, running into a pristine, spotless jewelry store caked in dirt.

On the hike to Squaw Peak where we got engaged.

It turns out the ring that I had gotten before even meeting Jenn had been the same type of ring that Jenn had wanted since she was little--a large sapphire with a few diamonds on the side.  This was just another evidence that this was all working out exactly how God had intended it to.

We finished school and then I went back to California to work and Jenn stayed in Utah.  Those were very difficult months, and deserve a post all to themselves, but finally they ended and I came up to Utah.  Jenn and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Jordan River Temple on the 21st of August, 2013, and since then we have grown immensely in love and understanding of each other, always onward and upward (which is written on the front of my ring).

The Lesson

If someone had told me how happy I would be in one month the day Lisa broke up with me, I would have laughed.  One of the most difficult experiences I had ever had quickly led to the greatest and happiest.  God really does know what He is doing.  When bad things happen to us, we do not need to pound our fists and cry and ask "Why me?"  The answer to "why me" is that God knows you and loves you and He understands what is best for you far better than yourself or anyone else.

When my roommate laid his hands on my head 6 days before I met Jenn and promised that my sadness would soon be over, I believed that it came from the Lord, but I thought that "soon" could only mean many months from them.  I know that if we are trying to be the best person we will be, God will direct our steps and lead us to the place that will make us the most happy.  We do not know what He knows, and even when we think everything has gone horribly wrong, He is guiding us to unimaginable joy and blessings better than we could ever imagine.  Have faith in God, and trust Him--when things look hopeless, just keep moving forward, because your steps just may lead you to sit down next to the greatest blessing you could possibly have, much much greater than the one you missed.

How I Met My Wife, Part 1 (of 2)

It makes for quite a good story, I think, and it taught me some important things, so without further ado here is the unabridged version of how I met my wife:

January 2nd, 2013

I had been seriously dating Lisa for about 3 months now (no, Lisa is not my wife, nor is Lisa her real name.  And no, this will not turn into a longer-than-nine-season story, nor will it be raunchy in the slightest) and was now on Christmas break with my family in California, while she was in another state.  I was crazy about Lisa, and felt that things were going really really well between us.  In fact, I felt prompted and nudged to go buy a ring--so off I went to do that.

We had broached the subject of domestic felicity before, and I was all for it and had felt that it would be right.  Lisa, however, was terrified of marriage.  She sure liked me and could easily see things going that direction, but still had a thousand fears of this and that.  Despite this, I felt strongly that I should buy a ring while on Christmas break, and so I did.  I figured that about the time of her birthday, sometime in February, I could propose.  She liked the color blue, so the ring I bought was very unique--it had a giant blue sapphire in the middle and two small diamonds from my grandmother's earrings she had given me on the sides.  I really have got to say it is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.





















January 5th-9th, 2013


Christmas break ended and for once I was very excited to return to school to see my love.  I really did love her a lot and would do anything for her--including scrape off her car of snow without gloves and drive it to the airport to pick her up.  That Winter was very cold, it was about 4 degrees fareneheit, and the car was covered in about a foot of snow.  I thought my fingers would die as they brushed away the snow.  I guess that's besides the point though.

That week went very well, with our relationship picking up where it left off before Christmas break (or so I thought).  We were very happy together, and I lightly brought up the subject of marriage again.  She often tried to avoid this subject, as it made her anxious, but she said that she had been praying over and over again to know if she should marry me, and had still not received an answer.  On my side, I had received my answer long ago, and was so sure of it that I had bought a ring.  Having received that answer, I was not worried at all that Lisa would eventually find her yes answer.

So all was well with Lisa and Scott (at least that's what I thought)...until January 10th came.

January 10th, 2013

The 10th was a Thursday, the first Thursday of school, and I had planned like everyday to go to Lisa's place after school to hang out.  Halfway through the day, though, I looked down at a text I had received: "I've got a lot on my mind lately and I need some time to be alone, so please don't come over today."

Scarcely have words ever pierced the soul with such dread.  What???  Where was this coming from??  What did she need to think about, and had I done anything wrong??  Perhaps you think I'm foolish, and in hindsight now I can see the warning signs, but living my life at that point this came as a complete shock.  Lisa valued her alone time, something which I had a hard time understanding, as I am very very clingy.

I don't actually know if that night was windy and stormy, but it felt like it was windy and stormy.  I had no idea what I would do since I couldn't go to Lisa's, and my heart was filled with such a horrible and unreasonable dread.  My mind jumped to the very worst conclusions, and even though I knew it was impossible (I had received my answer, and I thought she could not receive a different answer) I thought "Tomorrow morning she will break up with me.  No, no that's impossible."  But anyways the thought still festered there, tormenting me and keeping me from sleeping.

January 11th, 2013

The next morning dawned bright and cold and with no less nervousness from me.   I was so nervous I was shaking and could not keep my mind focused on anything but knowing what was going on with Lisa.  As I was doing some sit-ups trying to distract myself, my phone beeped and I looked down at the text: "Could you meet me at the duck pond?  We need to talk."

This text, of course, only sent my heart into wilder convulsions, and I could not stop the very very loud thought "She's going to break up with me.  She's going to break up with me!"  I rationalized that this was impossible, and tried frantically to calm myself and explain that this was not the case as I walked to the duck pond.  By now, many of you may be chuckling to yourself as you can see exactly what will happen next.  All I could think was, "No, this will be just a normal talk.  But why at the duck pond instead of at her house?"

There she was, at the duck pond, and then followed the last conversation I would ever have with her.  It was very short, and she began it like this: "I got my answer, and my answer was no.  I should not marry you.  And since I'm not going to marry you, I shouldn't be dating you.  And I don't want to tempt you to want to date me, so we probably shouldn't see each other for a while."  She spoke these words to someone, though she didn't know it, who had bought a ring for her and was very much counting on this to work out.  I don't remember what protests I made, but I'm sure they were very blubbering and pathetic.  Mostly I said "How?  How could this happen?  I was sure my answer was yes!"  She said she didn't know, but her face was not very sympathetic.  She did what she felt she had to do, which was very admirable.  I gave her a few hugs, and off she went.  Off I went into the saddest week of my life.

January 18th, 2013

The last week had been pretty horrible.  I had been so devastated, so taken by surprise, and so heartbroken.  I had never loved someone so much and then had my hopes been smashed so abruptly.  I clung on to hope, and felt, since my answer had been yes, that there was a very good chance we would get back together.  At this point, though, we were in a rough spot and were not speaking one word to each other.  I felt like a zombie the whole week, unable to concentrate on anything, overcome with grief.  Anyone who has experienced this will understand what I mean, and if you have not gone through this I hope you never do.

I had received a Priesthood blessing from my wonderful roommates, in which it was said that soon, I would be happy again.  I did not see at all how this was possible, but I believed in the promise.  That Friday, I was still a devastated zombie, and I had a space between classes with nothing to do.  Wandering around campus, I saw a poster advertising a blood drive going on then.  "Donating blood is service, helping others, right?  And that's supposed to make you feel better," I thought, and in a wild attempt to help myself feel better I went to donate.

I sat down in the line and pulled out my computer to work on some homework.  However, I have always believed that if you have an opportunity to do something good, you should always do it, because you never know what you might miss if you avoid the opportunity.  A very curly-haired girl was sitting next to me, but I had no interest in talking to her.  Absolutely no girls interested me except for Lisa.  Still, for some reason I could not concentrate at all on my homework.  Sighing, I put away my laptop, turned to Jenn McLean and asked the most suave line you have ever heard: "So...do you donate blood often?"

The Seasons of Life

As Fall is fast advancing, I thought it appropriate to give you my thoughts on the four seasons of the year, and how they relate to the four seasons we all go through in life.  Well, don't stop there, read on!

Spring

Temple Square in Salt Lake City, early May 2014

Spring is exciting for everyone.  Finally the long freeze of Winter is ending, temperatures are getting warmer, and the leaves are starting to return.  Hills and valleys and all trees are covered with the bright yellow-green of new growth, and what is more, brilliant flowers often appear all around.  Spring is like birth and new, young life.  We appear as small babies and everyone loves us (we do not inherit our ugliness until later).  We grow to be toddlers and young children, and we see the world in a much happier and more energetic light than many adults.  We begin to grow up and are charming and intelligent, joyful and loving.

My niece Tiffany.

Panoramic view of Douglas Fir in
Little Cottonwood Canyon.

Summer

Summer is the period of most growth.  This covers the part of our lives when we are settled in, when we have found our spouse and are raising a family and working away.  Service to others, especially our family, is the way we grow, the way we improve and become better and stronger.  Trees can grow to tremendous heights, and if we use our lives wisely, seeking to learn as much as we can, and develop and use our talents as best as we can to help our fellow man, we can grow to be beautiful and beneficial plants.  It doesn't matter what kind of plant we are, as long as we are the best of whatever we are.

Near the mouth of Snell Canyon, Utah, on the Hidden Oak trail.

Fall

Rock Canyon Campground, October 2013

Fall is the season of change before the end (I feel bad just writing "the end," since that is not what it is, but that will be covered in the next section).  When we have had lots of experience in life, when our children are raised and gone their separate ways and now have families of their own, when we have grown very close to God and know what we are doing in life, then is when we shine and our true colors come out.  Things are often the best right before they end, and quite frankly, the "experienced in age" are some of the best people out there.  Some people die in bitterness, losing their leaves all at once, but there are many, including my sweet grandparents, who climb more and more towards the  peak of their intelligence, kindness and love with each passing year,  

My grandparents. :)

Slate Canyon, September 2013

Winter

In Winter trees lose all their leaves and snow covers all the landscape in one thick white sheet.  According to all appearances, the trees have died, but everyone knows they really have not.  This is one of the main differences in our understanding of the seasons and the understanding of life--we know each Winter that Spring will eventually come.  But there are many who do not understand, when they see a body of a dear friend lying in a coffin, that that person still lives, and that body will once again spring to life.  No matter how cold or dark or long the Winter, the light of the Son will shine again, and every soul that seemingly "dies" will live again.  There is no such thing as the end.  It is conquered because of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.  Being the Son of the Immortal God, He did not have to die; yet He did, submitting to death so that He could conquer it for all of us and live again.  "O death, where is thy sting?  O grave, where is thy victory?" (1 Corinthians 15:55)

And yet many times, like a child when his parents leave him with the babysitter, we run to the door and pound our fists and wail, exclaiming "How could this happen to me?" and protesting that life is unfair.  It is easy for us as the babysitter to understand that the parents will return in just a few hours, and there is no reason to lament, but when tragedy strikes do we have the faith to look at the large scheme of things and see the moment when we again embrace our loved ones?

Winter is beautiful and peaceful.  Its silence invites reflection, and the blanket of white over absolutely all instills tranquility and solace of mind.  I know that my Redeemer lives.  I know that it is through Christ, our God and our Friend, that every one of us will live again.  We will live again and see God in our own bodies (Job 19:24-27)  "The only death that is truly premature is the death of one who is not prepared to meet God." (Elder Russell M. Nelson, April 2011).  We must do all we can to ensure that we are living the way we know we should, so that our death may not be premature, no matter when it happens (Alma 34:33-34).  Then, after going through all the seasons of our lives, no matter how short or long, we will pass into peaceful Winter before the glorious Spring morning next occurs.

Links:

Here's a link to a poem I wrote about how Winter is like death: 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/scott-zylstra/snow-a-chiasm/179051722251

And here is a link to a pretty nifty poem, "Be the Best of Whatever You Are:" http://www.bachlund.org/Be_the_best_of_whatever_you_are.htm.

Missed Opportunities and New Adventures (Great Basin National Park)

Great Basin National Park - Introduction

This weekend I went on a Geology field trip to Great Basin National Park (Geology field trips are the best, as they nearly always involve camping and exploring incredible areas).  For those of you who don't know (I didn't), Great Basin National Park is on the very eastern edge of Nevada (bordering with Utah) and consists of basically one prominent mountain range in the Basin and Range province.  The Basin and Range province stretches from central Utah to eastern California, and is close to the height of the United States.  If you look at a topographic map of the western states, you will see hundreds of little squiggles running north to south across Nevada.  These have been described as "a thousand caterpillars marching to Mexico" and are actually many mountain ranges with basins in between.  As for why they are there, if you are interested in the geology just ask me in the comments below.

Anyways...(I apologize for my tangents, but...they are not likely to stop) the Great Basin contains a windy mountain road that ascends to the base of the second-highest mountain in Nevada (by 77 feet!), Wheeler Peak at 13,064'.  This high mountain range creates something of a "sky island"--an area of green majestic forest surrounded by unyielding dry desert.  We drove up the mountain road to the campground below Wheeler Peak, which is at 9908'.  By the time we got there, it was already dark, and at that high, even in Nevada, it can be very cold.  But the stars were incredible.  There was no moon and we were at the end of a meteor shower, so hundreds and hundreds of stars glittered overhead, and often large shooting stars raced across the sky.  This is a superb place to go stargazing, so far away from any real cities and so high up.

Wheeler Peak

The Bristlecones

After a chilly night, I awoke in amazement to the view around me.  We could tell the night before that the area we were in was pretty, but we had no idea that it was this pretty.  As opposed to Utah, Fall here among the aspens was in full force.  I walked out of my tent to the sight of immense the first rays of the sun penetrating through dense and immense green pines and bright yellow aspens.  It seemed that all the forest was bathed in a heavenly yellow glow.

The first item of the day was a hike up the Bristlecone/Glacier Trail.  The Park is famous for bristlecone pines, which are the oldest living things on the planet.  This park has bristlecones that are up to 3,000 years old, and there's a picture of me with one:

Bristlecones are so old because they grow super slowly and have extremely tough bark.  They also thrive in adversity, growing where no other trees would--on the top of ridgelines, where the wind is extremely strong.  Because of their strength, they also take hundreds of years to die and instead of decaying like other trees, they are merely eroded by wind and water over time, leaving gnarled and stark silhouettes.  There are so many lessons and metaphors for life from this tree that I won't even bother explaining them!

This picture refuses to orient itself the right way, even though the picture I uploaded was rotated right.  If anyone knows what to do, let me know!

The Glacier

The object of the hike was to reach the rock glacier at the cirque of Wheeler Peak.  A cirque is where a glacier has carved right up to the base of a mountain and formed a half-bowl-shaped valley.  This cirque does not have any ice glaciers on it any more, but there is a lot of ice underneath some of the loose boulders, which causes them to inch forward at millimeters each year, making a rock glacier!  We got to a spot where we had a good view of the glacier, and time was running out for us to turn around, for we had an 11:00 appointment to go to Lehman Caves.  Some in the group decided to turn around and mosey back to the cars, and some wanted to go further and closer to the rock glacier.  If you know me, you will know which group I was in.

The cirque!  Wheeler Peak is in the middle right, and the rock glaciers are the mounds of rock at the bottom of the valley.

I went forward as fast as I could, for it was getting close to 9:15, and we were supposed to be back at the vans at 10:15 in order to make it to the caves.  As time went on, I was getting farther and farther ahead of the group, and I was getting more and more tense, as I knew I had to hurry, but it also seemed that if I would just make it over one more rock pile, I would have an astonishing view.  So I kept going, now beyond the trail, over and over these huge rock piles.  I thought one was the end, but above it there was another, and another, and another.  I finally reached the highest point in the cirque, and the view was much the same as other places, albeit amazing.  Now, though, it was 9:36 am, and I had to make it over 2.5 miles back to the vans in 45 minutes, the first part bounding over huge boulders, which is always slow going.  

Panoramic view, southeast to northeast, from the top of the cirque.

Alluvial fans made of ice between the cliffs leading up to Wheeler Peak.

The view was incredible, so I took a few pictures of the giant cliffs.  These cliffs had fan-shaped dirty ice fields at the bottom, they were immense and impressive, and some small rocks fell down, echoing across the valley, but I was in a huge hurry and had to turn away.  I was nearly in a panic as I was realizing how far away from the bottom I was, and I went down the trail faster than I have ever gone down any.  I did not want to make people wait, but I also knew it was a near hopeless cause, since when I started I was nearly 20 minutes behind the group.  Out of breath, I arrived at the bottom, where only my teacher was still waiting.  He said that if we were to leave right then, we would likely make it to the cave appointment on time, but we were still waiting on one person.

The Not Caves

After a while of waiting and trying to contact the vans which were already driving down the mountain towards the caves, we figured out 20 minutes later that we in fact were not waiting on the kid, but he was in the van where he was supposed to be!  So we got in the car and headed down to the caves, knowing that we had missed the appointment and I would not be able to go to the caves.  This was quite frustrating, and I knew the exact reasons why I had missed an opportunity to go to the caves.  Half of it was my fault, for if I had not gone far ahead to climb the rock glacier, I would have been down with the rest of the group and gone to the caves.  However, if there was not bad communication about who was still up on the mountain, and we had left as soon as I had gotten down, I could likely have been to the caves.

I tried not to be disappointed and frustrated, but that was hard seeing as I had missed out on a great opportunity to see some incredible caves for free.  However, being in those mountains, with the aspens shining colors I had never seen (red aspens???) and among magnificent pines and alpine views, it was a bit harder to be sad.

So there I sat in the Visitor's Center, having missed the cave tour by minutes for reasons that were and were not my fault.  But it turned out to be a good experience.  I learned a lot more about the park, reading nearly everything in the Visitor's Center.  I went on a nice little walk on a nature trail through pinyon pine and juniper.  And after taking a short nap in the sun, a very nice stranger started a conversation with me, and it turned out we had a lot in common.  So all in all, it was an incredible experience and I learned a lot, both geologically and spiritually.

The Lessons

So what did I learn from this experience?  It was my choices that prevented me from seeing the cave.  I have still yet to figure out whether or not I did the right thing in going further up the rock glacier, but that choice did prevent me from a potentially wonderful experience.  The fact is, in life we have only limited time.  In this life, we are not able to do everything that we want to, and instead must choose the best things for us to do.  What can we do that would make the most use of our time, what would be the best use of our talents?  Furthermore, what would God want us to do?  I have learned time and time again that doing what God wants us to do will give us infinitely more happiness than doing what we want to do.  He is our Father: He wants to make us happy, and if we listen to His voice, He will lead us to what will bring us the most happiness.

We should not think that somehow everything will turn out all right without any effort on our part.  If we dawdle around and do not do what we ought to, the day will come when we arrive back on the road and the vans have already left.  We cannot procrastinate our repentance (Alma 34:32-33), saying tomorrow or next year or next month I will be better, I will apologize, I will stop my bad habits, for perhaps when tomorrow comes the van will have left, gone on to a better place, and you will not be on it.  

If you missed the van and the cave tour, however, do not despair!  Perhaps it is not your fault you missed out on a great opportunity--if something happens that is not your fault, and you feel life is not going how you would wish it to, perhaps this is part of God's plan for you.  Perhaps you are meant to do something different, perhaps there is someone in your current path you need to talk to, perhaps you need to learn more about the park before continuing.  Everything happens for a reason, and God guides our lives often more than we give Him credit for.  So if you are on a path that is not your favorite, perhaps consider stopping the complaining and looking instead for what God expects you to learn on this new path.

The take-home message from this post should be to trust in God and do what He asks.  Christ has been compared to a fountain of living waters.  On this trip, we visited a spring in the desert.  The area all around was filled with shrubby junipers and pinyon pines and the ground was barren, but all of a sudden a river surrounded by green literally appeared out of the ground.  Christ can bring happiness, joy and life to the most barren land, the most distraught soul, so trust Him and follow Him.

A few steps away from Rowland Spring.

Rowland Spring, living water in the desert.